1. THOU SHALL NOT LOOK DOWN ON THY NEIGHBOUR’S EQUIPMENT

Nobody likes a know-it-all.  You might be extremely knowledgeable about vaping, you build your own coils, you make your own juices, you’re the Albert Einstein of sub ohm vaping.  But please don’t be tempted to enforce your superior knowledge on others because no matter how much you think you know, you don’t know what other people want or need.  We have many customers that are more than happy using a disposable clearomiser or a standard output battery and they don’t need a lecture from you. You look after your clouds and we’ll look after theirs.

2.   THOU SHALL NOT ABUSE THY COIL

If your coil is burning out quicker than expected it is quite unlikely to be the coil at fault.  User error is the biggest cause of coil damage so do your research and make sure you are using your kit correctly.  Common reasons for your coils burning out too quickly include holding the button down too long or repeatedly in quick succession, not allowing time for a new coil to soak, pressing the button too soon and pocket-firing so make sure you do your homework and always lock your battery when not in use.

3.   THOU SHALL NEVER USE CHEAP CRAPPY E-LIQUID

Cheap e-liquid is a false economy.  FACT.  It can be found everywhere from pound shops to petrol stations and large chain vape shops to chemists.  It can’t be considered safe to use and causes countless problems including, but not limited to, leaking (because it’s too thin), sore throats, upset stomach or mouth ulcers (because who knows what the hell is in it?).  It will not taste as nice as a quality e-liquid, it will not last as long and will probably cause you more harm than good.  We have never and will never sell cheap, untraceable e-liquid and in our view you should never use it.  Always buy from a trusted source, choose a company that uses pharmaceutical grade ingredients and has their products individually batch tested by an independent body. If you do insist on using cheap crap, don’t expect anything other than crap results!

4.   THOU SHALL NEVER BLOW VAPOUR IN THY NEIGHBOUR’S FACE

You’d think this would be an obvious one but we are constantly surprised by the downright rudeness of people who strut through the door, blow a big lung-full of smoke right in our faces before yelling “Got any high VG mate?”.  Don’t be that guy!  If we don’t like it imagine how much it upsets people who don’t understand vaping.  Be respectful of other people and don’t forget those manners, vapers get a hard enough time already don’t make it worse.

5.   THOU SHALL ASK BEFORE VAPING

Yes we all know that vaping is not included in the smoking ban but don’t just assume you can do it wherever you like.  Use your brain, ask permission before vaping in enclosed spaces and be respectful of others around you.

6.    THOU SHALL ALWAYS READ THE INSTRUCTIONS

Vaping is a little more complicated than lighting up a fag.  A healthy electronic cigarette is regularly cleaned and maintained.  To know how we highly recommend leafing through your instruction manual.  If you don’t maintain your vape, it won’t work properly and it may not be safe to use – simples!

7.    THOU SHALL NOT POCKET CARRY

We have been advising our customers not to carry their e-cig in a trouser pocket for almost ten years now but some still insist. We find that they are the people who break their unit every couple of weeks, have problems with leaking and constantly burn out their coils due to pocket-firing.  You have been warned!

8.   IF THOU MUST POCKET, THOU MUST LOCK IT

There may be times when you have no choice but to stick your vape in a pocket but you should never do this before making sure your battery is locked off first.  If you leave your unit in standby while in your pocket, at best you will fry your coils out constantly and at worse you will set your crown jewels on fire.

9.   THOU SHALL NEVER PREACH

No matter how long you have been vaping, or how much you think you know, you should never assume you know what other people need or like.  Never tell other people what equipment they need or what juice they should have – vaping is very subjective!  Just because you can only vape 80/20 Fluorescent Yellow Tropical Slushie on a 0.0000015 ohm coil does not mean the old lady next to you in the queue or your mates down the pub need the same, let people make up their own mind don’t be a preacher!

10.  THOU MUST NEVER BREAK THE COMMANDMENTS

Failure to comply with any of the above rules whilst in our shop will result in severe punishments such as having to go and buy us beer or rum.  Be warned.  We drink a LOT of rum.